Bomb It
by Alle Atze
Summary: France is plotting to marry England...again. This time for no understandable reason. Switzerland knows and decieds to stop it...some how. With a bunch of Swiss weapons and a mirco band of misfits, can he do the job before somebody gets killed? Rating will go up in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hej! There's nothing I else I should really tell you but **watch out for Google-translated Spanish**. If you happen to speak the language, feel free to correct me!

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**Seven weeks before destruction **

Switzerland's POV

France contacted me about an hour ago. He wanted to see me about something urgent. It was one thing to have 20% percent of your population speak French and another to be friends with France himself. I really don't know why I'm doing this. For all I know someone could be playing in my Alps. You know what, I should go home! Someone is playing in my Alps! Before I could turn around, I felt a hand grab me. "Switzerland!" I turned around to find a blonde haired man in my presents. Was he trying to look for me or something?

"Glad you come"

"Yeah, whatever. What is so important that I had to leave the protection of my own home for?"

"You know that time I tried to get England to marry me?"

"Yes, why?

"I'm going try again! This time England won't get away from me! I have a perfect plan to lure him here, capture hi and then put him in a suit!"

I gave France a good 15 second glare before speaking. "Why are you doing this….._again_?" He looked at me with a blank expression on his face. "You know what? I don't want to know. And anyway, why are you telling me?"

"I was hoping that you could….maybe….._assist me_?" There were a number of things I wanted do at the moment. I wanted to laugh, then slap him, maybe use a couple rounds of ammo, then go back to my Alps. "NEIN! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I DESTORY MY NUETRALITY JUST TO HELP YOU DO A SENSELESS ACT?!"

"Maybe. You just don't understand. I'm invited _all_ of the nations to my _wedding_. They will think I am going to marry a girl, they will come and enjoy whatever, then when they sit down the chairs will lock them in place and they can do nothing about it! Oh and if anyone tries to escape or contact someone from outside, I will shoot them."

"I. Don't. Care." I turned around to walk home. It was only a wedding, right? People could sit down and watch it, right? Right? I have to admit, it did bother me. I just wasn't aware I would do something as complicated I did.

**Six Weeks before Destruction **

Christiania's POV

I was walking down stairs when I heard the mail being pushed through _that thing were they put mail in. _I picked up the letters and looked through them. One said something about jury duty (as if countries were supposed to go to those things), another one was the water bill and the rest were just bills. At the end of the pile were two envelops with the Danish and Christianian flags on them. That could only mean one thing; INVITATION! I quickly opened mine to find poorly written Danish on a fancy piece of paper. I could barely make it out, but it was from France. It read:

Dear Kristina _I mean_ Christiania,

As you know I'm France. I'm honored to tell you that I am getting married! I invited you and your father, Denmark, to my wedding. Wear pink. Also I would like it if you be _one of_ my flower girls.

I'd keep reading but the Danish is just too messed up to continue. Next time I see him I should probably tell him that you're not supposed to use æ in every word. The thing that scares me about this is that he didn't tell who he is marrying or the fact that he said _one of my flower girls. _There's an insane possibility that he could've asked – BAM! I turned to see my front door being knocked down. And _oh no_…. "HOLA AMIGO! DID YOU GET A LETTER TOO?" Who is this loud character you may ask? Puerto Rico, that's who. Don't get me wrong, she's my friend and everything but she gets too hype with things like this. "Wanna pop tart?" She motioned closer to the kitchen. "Yes, please."

She played with her pop tart before eating it. "Dios mio!"

"What is it?"

"What am I going to wear?"

"I kinda liked that dress you wore to Costa Rica's birthday party."

"Gasp! You want me to wear something I _already_ wore? ¿Qué es lo que te pasa?"

"Where are you going?!" She looked at me for a minute. "This is a _serious_ matter! I must go home now!" She was running to the door when she crashed into three more people. "Hey, did you guys get invitations too?" Sealand asked. "What? Is it Hey-I-have-an-idea-let's-go-pile-up-Chrissie's-house day?" He looked down at his feet. "Look, we just wanted to know if you got it or not.' Wy snapped. "You don't have to be so rude, and yes we both got it." I helped them up from the floor. "Excuse me! I got to run!" Puerto Rico pushed past my fellow micronations.

They settled themselves in the living room. "Don't you think it's kind of weird?" Sealand looked up from tying his shoe and looked at Kugelmugel. "What's weird?"

"That France would just marry someone out of the blue."

"Ah, you see, that's the catch with him."

"There's no catch….. He's just France."

"That's like saying Wales only likes New Zealand because he's New Zealand" I just glared at Wy for a moment. "As much as we would like to hear your very dramatic family stories, we have more pressing matters to attend to."

The rest of the "meeting" continued as it was supposed to. I'd insult Wy on her eyebrows, she'd hit me back by talking about the fact that there's empty beer bottles all over place and I'd be like GTFO. No one gets anything done at meetings anyway.

**5 weeks before destruction **

Christiania's POV

I was baking some rye bread before the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hi, Christiania."

"Good Morning, Kugelmugel. You don't sound so good."

"I'm in kind of a jam."

"Oh, what's the problem?"

"You see, I was painting with my brush and….um….. my paintbrush ended up in the Alps."

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Next chapter will of course be up tomorrow. Some reviews would be nice. Oh, in that part where Puerto Rico spoke Spanish, she said "What is wrong with you."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'd like to thank Madam Platypus for convincing me to update. The sick truth is that I had half of this chapter written and never seemed to finish it.**

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**5 weeks before destruction **

Christiania's POV

"YOUR WHAT ENDED UP WHERE?"

"Look I'm sorry, okay?"

"Don't apologize to _me_!"

"Well, what am I going to do?"

"How did you paintbrush end up there anyway?"

"I was… sword fighting."

"And with who exactly?"

"Myself…. Look, can you just come with me to get it?"

"Fine. But if we get caught it's your fault."

"Agreed."

I slammed the phone back on to the charger hoping it would break. That may seem like nothing to you, but for nations….. It's a big _no no ._I dug through my closet looking for my winter stuff. I'm just so mad right now. How can you lose a paintbrush in a bunch of mountains? It's not physically possibly, not even for a nation!

The streets of Bern were lovely this year, I guess. "He said to go this way…. Right?" I said to myself. I walked through many back allies and subways until I ended up to a building with the Swiss flag painted on the door. "Oh Christiania. You are here." Kugelmugel greeted me. I noticed Switzerland on the right of him. "Dude! You ratted yourself out!" He chuckled. "That was a cover story. We needed you to get here."

"You could have just said to come."

"We could've. But wouldn't. You probably wouldn't have put the effort in coming here if we just told you that." There was no point in arguing. He was right. "Come, have a seat with the others."

Switzerland's POV

"Others?!" I watched the girl look over to the group already siting. "Yes, hurry up." She scurried over to a seat. "Why did you call us here, Switzy?" Sealand said sipping a cup of hot chocolate. "You all have gotten that invitation from France right?"

"Yes, why?"

"The wedding is rigged."

"You can't rig a wedding!" Wy shouted. "It's impossible!"

"Ok," I face-palmed "My choice of words was incorrect. It's a fake wedding."

"NUH HUH, CHICO! I SPENT 4000$ ON A PINK DRESS AND I AM NOT LETTING IT WASTE!" shouted Puerto Rico. "Calm down!" Christiania shouted back. "What do you mean _fake?_ I'm left wondering here."

"France is just trying to marry England again, though I'm not sure for what. He's luring other countries to the wedding with cake and free food, then capturing them, and forcing them watch his wedding."

"And I knew it all along!" Kugelmugel said. "I went home and examened the invitation again. Most of you just that it was a piece of paper telling you to go somewhere where right? Well, the invitation did tell who he was marrying! It says here the girl's name is Alice but he calls her Artie, she's British and loves tea. Why would France marrying a British girl if he hates the man himself?"

"You know, Chico, she could be from Northern Ireland." I stared at her for a minute. I don't know here well but from Christiania's stories, that might have been the smartest thing she said all week.

"Highly unlikely." Kugelmugle continued. "He would have addressed her as _Northern Irish_."

"If all of this is true…..why are you telling us?"

"I know you guys aren't the strongest people or the smartest people…." I said

"Why do you look at me when you say that, Chico?"

"Anyway, I knew if I told others they wouldn't believe me. It since your small people that could fit in small places I figured you could help. You with me or not?" I spoke up.

"I'm in if she is, Chico." Puerto Rico said pointing to Christiania. "I guess that means I'm in." Christiania sighed.

"You already know my answer." Kugelmugel pointed out

"I'm in and Wy is too" Sealand yelled. "Hey! I didn't say you could speak for me!" Wy said. "Oh well, it's not like you have a choice or anything." I responded, rubbing the side of my gun. She scooted her chair a bit closer to the door after that threat. "I was just wondering," Christiania asked "Can we still have the free cake?" Everyone else nodded in agreement. What is it with kids and free cake? They seem to only want it if it's free. "Fine, you can have the free cake." I said.

"YES!"

_**Kuglemugle's POV**_

Puerto Rico and I stood on the frenchy's front lawn. In the last 3 minutes we managed to break…3 garden gnomes? I sure know that Switzerland is _not _going to be happy about that. "How are we going to get inside?" She asked me. I didn't even know. We had break into France's house to get his wedding plans. They could contain a map of the courthouse (Yes, he plans to get married there) and weaponry choices. Puerto Rico to go through her hair, shaking it a little. "What now?" I asked annoyed. She handed me a black colored bobbypin. "What do we need this for?"

"It's to unlock the doors."

"With a hair pin? Seriously?"

"Boy, give me that!" She snachted the pin from my hands and trotted up to the front door. "What are you trying to do?! Get away from there!" She jiggled the lock a bit and the door swung open, break a vase in the process. "Heh heh…" She gave me a weak smile. "Oops?"


End file.
